Today was the first day of proper normality since I arrived home. I woke up this morning and I’m not going to lie I was terrified. Since I came home I have felt numb, and all I have wanted to do was sleep and avoid having people around me, in case they work out there is something wrong. However yesterday and being around people who cared about me, really helped banish some of the anxiety about today.
So I started the day by having a healthy breakfast, and a coffee (can’t start the day without it now apparently ☕️), I then went onto Spotify and listened to an artist who really inspires me, Amy MacDonald. One thing positive which has came out of every situation I have found myself in over the last couple of months is, I have realised how important music is within my life, and the power which it has in order to alter or change my mood and state of mind. For example when I was going through a lot of pain I would listen to music like Muse, My Chemical Romance, or The 1975 however during happier times it was music like Amy MacDonald, Nina Nesbitt, Ed Sheeran or someone similar. I know that makes me sound like an emo teenager who uses their music taste to show what is going on in their soul, but honestly music has really helped me understand my emotions, and I would say to anyone who is going though a hard time, listening to music which inspires you, really does help you feel better (It does for me anyway).
Anyway when I arrived back at my first day of third year at university, I released that I had nothing to worry about. I have spent a lot of time with someone recently who made me feel so anxious about this year, because they struggled, however being back I realised that I am surrounded by tutors, and classmates who are all there to support me, and will help me get through the next year. I know that it will not always be easy however I already to face the challenge head on.
Today was also my first day back at work since I got home. I was worried incase I had no good idea’s or that my co worker, would not like the idea’s that I did have, however when we met I realised I had nothing to worry about.
I realised today that I have been over thinking everything, and that this is something I have always done, since I was very young, and I have now realised that is I want to feel positive, and enjoy the things I don’t, I have to stop doing this as it is something which lead to the negativity I have felt over the last few months.
Love
E xx
E's Journey 